How to Make Your Life Good
Release time：2023-10-28 20:28:35 oRead0
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:
Living Well With Others
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1
Smile at those around you. It's often been said that a smile is contagious, and research suggests that's true. Studies suggest that friendly engagement with others boosts happiness levels, at least in part because people are more likely to treat a smiling person better than a non-smiling person.
- A smiling person is more likely to be regarded as viewed as attractive, reliable, relaxed and sincere.
- Cheering yourself up by cheering others is a hallmark of how to have a good life.
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2
Help others. Studies have shown that helping others has a direct correlation to individual well-being. Taking time to care for others has been a staple of understanding "the good life" throughout time. Volunteering to help others has been connected to better quality of life, including increased happiness, self-esteem, health and even longevity.
- Taking time to listen to another person's problems is a great way to help others. Many times, people who are struggling simply need to be able to share their situation with a friend. By taking the time to listen, you are helping whether you can solve their situation or not.
- The Dalai Lama has said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”Putting your attention on another person, rather than yourself, is a common practice of living well with others.
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3
Abandon the idea that life is fair. Most of us are taught this as children, but the idea that there are guaranteed outcomes for particular efforts or personal qualities is a sure-fire way to live in disappointment and resentment. Let it go.
- Taking responsibility for your own actions is an important discipline to develop. There may be many circumstances beyond your control, but focusing on these won't help you develop the ability to make changes in your own life that may benefit you. Accept the things you can't change; change what you can.
- Letting go of resentments towards others is an essential part of the good life. It has been well-said that a resentment is "like taking poison, expecting the other person to die." Resentments erode the quality of your own life, damaging relationships with those around you.
- Others may not always agree with you. This doesn't mean that you are wrong, or that the other person is wrong. It simply means that you have two different ideas on the same topic - and that's okay.
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4
Treat others with honesty, respect and kindness. This is not contingent upon how others treat you. Financial journalist Panos Mourdoukoutas said, "Harming others claims two victims—the receiver of the harm, and the victimizer, the one who does harm."Taking revenge or "getting even" with another person opens an endless cycle of hurt and frustration that can easily be avoided simply by sticking to a few simple principles.
- Telling the truth, judiciously, is a habit of people who have good lives. Many times, people try to pretend they're telling the truth about others when instead they're engaging in gossip. The attention you receive when you share gossip may feel good, for a short time. However, in the long run, gossip erodes healthy relationships between you and those around you.
- Before you act, consider, "Is this something that I would want another person saying about me, or doing to me?" If not, reconsider your actions.
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5
Value your friendships with others. The quality of a person's friendship has a direct impact upon their well-being. Friends can increase a sense of your sense of belonging and purpose. People who have your best interest at heart, will also help prevent you from developing bad habits that work against your overall quality of life.
- Let friends and family know that you care about them by spending time with them, calling them regularly, and doing things together. Friendship doesn't rely upon proximity, however. Even friends cultivated online have a positive effect on one's quality of life.
- People with stronger social networks have stronger immune systems, get fewer colds, report less stress, and have overall higher quality of life for reasons that aren't yet known.
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1
Practice honesty within yourself. Self-knowledge is an important key towards making your life good, and the only way to acquire self-knowledge is to practice honesty. It may be easier for you to acknowledge your character strengths, or it may be easier for you to admit your character defects. Either way, it will be essential for you to understand both if you are to live well within yourself.
- When something is going wrong, look to your part. Avoid shifting the blame to others. Other people won't like it, and you won't learn anything.
- Talk to people you trust about your situation. Many times, a good friend will have insights into your motives that you yourself cannot discern.
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2
Examine your desires. What do you want from your life? What are you doing to achieve what you want?
- Make a list of qualities you would like to emulate in your life. Then, make a list of ways you can practice using these qualities in your daily life. Aristotle wrote, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not a virtue, but a habit." If you want to be a kind person, do kind things.
- Learning to be honest about what you want is a difficult practice. Many people prevent themselves from having a good life by overemphasizing the things that they want but don't feel they can have because of other life circumstances - such as finances, family obligations, economic pressures, etc. This only perpetuates the myth that the person is a victim, a belief that is corrosive to happiness at all levels.
- If you don't know the big things of what you want out of life, start with smaller choices. Developing a sense of control and power over what you have in your life is essential to having a good life.
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3
List your fears. Knowing the situations that you're afraid of will allow you to better see how these fears are constraining your life in ways that may not be immediately apparent. For instance, a fear of being called stupid may mean that you're not speaking up for yourself in your workplace, thus not being considered for a promotion.
- Seeing your fears in writing will sometimes help you realize how useless it is to worry about things that aren't within your control.
- Sometimes a fear will be based in circumstances that are no longer present. Many people develop fears in childhood, when much was beyond their conscious control. But as an adult, the person has more autonomy and more power over their choices. By becoming more aware of the fears that drive your behavior, you can make more conscious decisions about the actions you take.
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4
Cultivate self-acceptance. No one is perfect. We all have short-comings, we all make mistakes and do things we'd rather not do. Mark Twain said, "A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval." A good life isn't a result of making perfect choices, but of accepting the reality of who we are, including our limitations.
- Self-acceptance is a discipline of honesty. It means that the person isn't denying their actions or inactions, or their consequences.
- Self-acceptance is a practice of self-care. Much like any other expression of self-care, accepting yourself is a practice that must be consciously learned, and relearned as your characteristics change over time.
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5
Practice mindfulness. To focus on the present, a practice sometimes called mindfulness, is a discipline that research studies have proven directly increase one's quality of life.
- Notice when you are worried about the future, or regretting the past. Turn your attention to your breath. Count 10 breaths. Even as simple an exercise in mindfulness as this one can start to show positive effects in your life, when practiced over time.
- Cultivate daily habits, rather than setting distant goals. For instance, include exercise every day, rather than deciding to complete a triathlon in a month's time. Rather than deciding to lose 20 pounds, make a decision to eat healthily today. If you do decide to set a goal, break it down into manageable daily decisions.
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1
Make a gratitude list. Research in the field of positive psychology indicates a direct correlation between being thankful appreciation, or gratitude, and happiness. Increasingly, gratitude is shown to have a beneficial impact on physical health as well. People who practice gratitude have lower blood pressure, stronger immune systems, and feel more connected to others.
- Making a list of things that you are grateful for, no matter how large or small, is one way that people actively cultivate gratitude in their daily lives. Some people keep a gratitude journal, following the old adage to "count your blessings." Others include a list of things that they're thankful for in daily prayers or meditations.
- Posting photos, images, or written reminders of gratitude around your home is another way to remind yourself to be thankful.
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2
Send a thank-you note. Positive psychology studies demonstrate that the act of expressing gratitude for other people's efforts has been directly linked to living a better life.
- Thank you notes can be written for any occasion, large or small. A thank you note can be no larger than a emoji, or can be a written letter detailing a major event in one's life.
- Sometimes people are no longer present in your life. A suggested practice of gratitude is to write a letter thanking them for their positive influence on your life. While you may never be able to mail this letter, the act of writing it will directly benefit you.
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3
Set reminders to be thankful. Gratitude is a discipline, and must be practiced to be effective. Simply relying upon gratitude to arise spontaneously when events are pleasing is easy. To develop a practice of gratitude, one must develop the ability to find thankfulness in everyday affairs.
- You might set an alarm to call you to be grateful at random intervals throughout your day. When the alarm goes off, simply ask yourself: what am I grateful for, right now, this moment?
- If you notice that you're having a thought that is resentful or complaining, try replacing that thought with one of gratefulness. For example, when caught in a traffic jam, replace the anxiety about being late to your next engagement with an observation about the seasonal beauty. After all, you might have missed that beautiful fall tree color if you'd been driving at the normal speed!